Where the Spouse Doth Go

Life has a way of sending you on some wicked journeys when you are least prepared for them.
Last Wednesday night I headed off to work thinking all was well with my home and family, a mere half hour into my shift I received a frantic phone call from Zak saying that I needed to come home as there was something very wrong with daddy. I rushed home, and I do mean rushed and sure enough Papa Bear was in seriously bad shape. Off to the emergency room we rushed...
Papa Bear has been taken down once again by pancreatitis, something he had over 5 years ago but we thought was well under control. He remains hospitalized and in pain. Of course, he was asked how much alcohol he drinks because alcoholics most frequently present with this illness, but we do not drink. The culprit is the diabetes and cholesterol for Papa Bear, specifically the triglycerides. This time we found out that one of his medications, Byetta, may have also been the cause as while it can help diabetes it can also cause the pancreas to misfunction and so there is no definitive cause this time.
I have gone through the gamut of emotions as I spend my days and nights at the hospital and driving around to get the kids to places and check in with them frequently. I am exhausted physically and mentally right now.
We are not financially prepared enough for emergencies like this and in this economy it is not easy to make do on much less than we do already, but we will survive.

I can almost TWIST without a SHOUT

Yes, ladies and gentleman, I have had those ever handy dandy shots put in my spine and I am feeling much better. I can almost twist without shouting in pain. I pray that they will last for awhile and I can get off the gabapentin which makes me so sleepy.

Feeling better and the warm weather has hung around the idea of spring cleaning is starting to dance around in my head...only dance though, I haven't started doing anything but soon.

Still working, but have experienced a sudden decrease in hours which my supervisor claims was not intentional so we shall see what happens. Went from working 4-6 days a week, to barely working 2 days a week.

Nick will finish Driver's Education next week so it will be up to us to finish with his required practice hours and then he can go take his test to get his license. Would be nice to have another driver around the house. Hopefully we can teach him to be gentler on the brakes.

Zak has been working super hard on his Citizenship in the Nation merit badge for Boy Scouts this week. Learning all about the government which has made for some interesting conversations. Nick advanced to Life Scout rank last week, and if all goes well Zak will advance next week when he has his Board of Review. Papa Bear accomplished and completed his Wood Badge projects and will be presented with his beads on 3/29 at a District dinner. My big scouting event, the need to find a swimsuit before summer camp in July. We went shopping around for a new tent and other camp gear last weekend and in April will be buying a new tent from Scheels and other gear. We are getting sturdier gear that will hold up to the amount of use Scouting gives us. A Walmart grade tent just does not cut it when you can be camping in all types of weather. Definitely will be laying out some money for these things but it is time to do so.

Slowly but surely I am starting to feel more like myself and am starting to want to do things like write letters and read books. I am hoping part of that is the antidepressant switch too. I am completely off the Effexor XR and solely on the Cymbalta and doing well.

Papa Bear is off for a special Scouting event tonight so once Nick gets home from work I promised to play a board game with the kids and we are ordering pizza. Maybe tomorrow night we will rent a movie as I have a day shift versus a night one for once.

Have a great weekend.

Music Monday ~ Heat Wave The Who

For Wisconsin it is incredibly warm at this time of year so this song has been running through my head the past few days, what better way to share...

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Things You Do Not Want to Hear...

from your son after he returns home from "behind the wheel" for Driver's Education...
"Did you know the brakes on the passenger's side of the car can completely override the driver even if he is flooring it?"
or...
"There is no more class until they get the car fixed."

Yep, my smart ass son Nick thought these would be good comments to make about his first time driving with the instructor. Add a couple more grey hairs to my head.

Monday and the Madness Ensues...

Winter came back with a slap in the face yesterday here in Wisconsin to remind us that snow belongs around here whenever Mother Nature decides. We are currently digging out from 7.1 inches of the heavy, wet, white stuff today before the rain arrives tomorrow. Nothing we like more than ice after the snow around here. Thankfully my usually not so helpful neighbor has someone here with a snow blower helping out with the driveway so the kids do not have to do all of the hard work. I hate that with my back I cannot be out there helping...I actually used to be the one who did the majority of the shoveling in this family.

Boys did have a good time at the YMCA lock-in, and yeah Zak earned his Swimming Merit Badge. So now both boys are very close to another rank advancement and then the only place for them to go is Eagle Scout. Whether they become Eagles is totally up to them though.

Health wise the boys are still coughing something fierce, so unless they are better by the end of the week we are off to visit the doctor. Micheyla seems to have kicked it fast and is better, and Papa Bear is the silent type until he is totally miserable so for now he must be doing well enough. Once he is sick, as much as I love him, he is the world's biggest baby. I seem to have missed the bug (knock on wood) and hope things stay that way. Back is still causing me grief, especially at work so I need to talk to the pain doctor next week and see if there is something that they can give me for when I have an acute attack of pain. The gabapentin is more a preventative and it is helping immensely, but nothing cuts the intense hurt when I am at work.

Did not do so well with the goals Friday and over the weekend. Seemed we were always running, though we did have a nice relaxing Saturday night. Rented 2 movies and watched them.
First was W and it was interesting, I must say that Josh Brolin did a brilliant job of portraying the character, the story was a little flat at times though.
Next we rented Max Payne, which was nothing like I expected but good nonetheless, nice amount of action and Mila Kunis from That 70s Show really surprised me with her role in the movie.

Surprising twist there last week on the wild card show of American Idol, now we have a top 13, not 12. Of course, I will be rooting for Danny G from WI, but I am sure as the season progresses I will find other favorites and the usual ones I cannot stand.

Today's goal:
Write 2 letters to pen pals, some cleaning in the living room, and start reading a book for a review. Also have some Scout stuff to do for tonight's meeting.

So, have yourselves a great Monday, or try your best.

Can You Count to 20?

Okay, another major work pet peeve. I am often placed on what are called the "Speedy" registers at work, basically those designated for customers with 20 items or less. It never fails that certain people NEVER seem to understand that 20 means 20 not more. I don't want to sound racist but this is definitely a racial/ethnic trend too because most people recognize when they have more than 20 items and move along, but some INSIST upon checking out even when we as cashiers politely point out that we are an express lane...which fyi, we are allowed to do. My fav is when these persons arrive at my register 5 minutes prior to the end of my shift thus causing me to be late at getting off the register and done with my clean-up before my shift ends. So, next time you think of taking your heaping cart of groceries/items to the Speedy checkout at Walmart think of me, and don't do it...please, for your cashier's sake.

Whine complete, though I could go for some wine. Maybe this weekend for some relaxation time. Kids are still struggling to get better, this cold seems to hold on tight and not let go. So far Micheyla is the healthiest but she is just at the start of the nasty bug and Papa Bear is showing signs of being sick too. Not a good thing when the guys have a Boy Scout lock-in at the YMCA on Friday night. Zak is supposed to finally finish his swimming merit badge. As for me, other than my back and leg which is affected by the pinched nerves, I am feeling fine. Sleeping a tad less, so wonder if the Effexor XR was combining with the Gabapentin to make me so damn sleepy. I will be completely off the Effexor next week and just on the Cymbalta and clonazepam.

Did manage to start working on organizing the living room today, we really have to wait for Papa Bear to be home to do the furniture moving though, so probably will get that done this weekend...I hope. So, I am setting goals and keeping to them for the most part. Tomorrow I think I am going to get some sewing done and write some letters which I have fallen behind on also. One pen pal has begged for me to write, email, anything.

Not caught up with American Idol at the moment, do not know who got voted into the top 12 this week, and tonight is the wild card round. Next week it is time to start watching Dancing With the Stars and I hear that Jewel is having issues.

Well, that's all I got today, until next time...

I Must Admit, I am tired of Snow & Ice

My positive outlook today was to get off my bottom and do some work. So I decided to tackle the ice and snow that has been on the sidewalk for a bit. I cannot tell a lie I am so very ready for spring to arrive minus any more surprise snow or ice storms.
I did enjoy getting outside and getting some fresh air much more than I thought I would so that is going to be a regular goal for me to get outside regularly.

Not been fun around the house as of late as the kids are taking turns being sick with a nasty cold that settles in their heads and chests. Nick had it first, now Zak is in the full swing of it, and Micheyla started complaining about a sore throat this afternoon so it is a matter of time before she is under the weather. Leaves the house a bit messy as they are allowed to slack on their chores. Hey, I am not a cruel mommy in the least bit.

Nick started "behind the wheel" today for driver's education. He was just observing, and will be doing the same again on Friday. We need to get him out practicing more this weekend so when he drives next week he does okay. He does tend to set your nerves on end when he stops, starts, turns, and goes in reverse.

Tomorrow my goal is to organize my living room if I do not have sick kids curled up on the couches, if they are...then I will work in the kitchen to set up a sewing station to do some sewing for the Scout troop. I also need to start planning a meal for an upcoming Court of Honor.

Well, I have to be at work shortly. Hope tonight is better than last night, which was not a joyous night with cranky customers and coworkers.

Need a New Outlook

Thanks all for the kick in the pants that I need that I need to think positive and change my outlook on this and everything. Hey, I will not lie I am a notorious pessimist, have been since my childhood and it is a hard habit to break.
I need cheerleaders and positive thinking on my own part to get motivated to be healthier. I cannot wait for someone to give me a magic fix, I need to make things happen for myself.
One step ask if there are better medications than the Gabapentin that makes me groggy. Work will be something I need to contend with, but I have invested in better shoes and stretch when I can to help deal with the pain if it gets too bad during a shift. I will not give up.
I know I can do things when I have to, so I need to make this something I HAVE TO DO in my mind, that is the current hurdle. It is no joke to mess around with my health. I want to be around and healthy when my children have children, and I have to face it...that time may not be all that far away. Nick is 16, Zak 15, and Micheyla 12. Time flies by these days and they are not babies anymore.
No more whining, time to start winning the battle of the wills. I need to stop fighting with myself and give myself a chance to move ahead in life.

Today is the start of a new beginning.